Black Hat's Paper Boy
by DragoonDraconain
Summary: There is only ONE boy who will dare to make the treck, through The gates of Black Hat's manor, up the stone path, and knock on the door, to HAND DELIVER, Lord Black Hat's mail (and newspaper)
1. A new hire

A boy stands in front of a white building. A tattered vest hangs off his shoulders, several sizes too big with old brown spots crusted on. He wears a shirt that looks as if it was once white, but now just shades of brown, it stretches over his waist, riding pink lines into his skin. A pair of blue shorts… No a pair of blue jeans that had been ripped until they only came up to the lad's knees constricted around his sides. His shoes, two different patterns, two different sizes, torn open and shredded, tied onto his ankles with string. And a brown cap sporting a long rip down the side, held together with rusty safety pins rests on his head.

The boy's brown eyes stare up at the building. Compared to all the rest, It wasn't tall, in fact, it was really short… maybe one, or two floors up. Its walls were clean with fresh white paint. Although some kids have already decided to adorn its face with black scribbles.

Above lay a huge sign, bearing the same letters as the flyer crunched up in the boy's hand, a rip down the top half, and the lower bit is all smudged and distorted with water. It was very hard to read but, the boy manged to make out those letters.

"P-O-S-T O-F-F-I-C-E"

Yep, the same letters. Taking a deep breath he reaches out, with greasy dirty hands to turn the handle. Using his other hand to give the door a big push to open it, before bringing both hands back to his side, clutching the paper tightly which crinkles under his tightened grip.

"Who's there!?" Comes an adult voice.

The boy steps into the room, now able to see the relatively clean room, but not empty room; A desk sits at the back, and a man sits at the desk. He wears a blue jean jacket, his shoulder coming out of one side, with a black dress shirt buttoned all the way up underneath. He also has a little rough beard bristling his chin and cheeks.

"Um… I'm here for the job?"

"Job- Oh fucking hell, MIKE!" He swirls around in his chair, which creaks from the sudden force to he face the stairway behind him.

Now the boy looks around, to his right was a few stands, holding all kinds of envelopes. And to the left was a shelf neatly stacked with boxes of varying sizes, some even as big as the boy himself!

"What?" Came a new, male, voice.

"Are you not providing info on the flyers again! I told you not to post them without the proper info!"

"Jeez dude, do you want people for the job or not."

Another man, Mike, sporting a white tee-shirt, came sauntering down the stairs, holding a closed cardboard box in front of his face.

"The kid is just going to fucking leave like everyone else, let's not waste my time with-"

"With what?" Came the boy's small voice.

The grumpy man sighs, turning back to look at him. His beared was cold and still.

"Look, we have plenty of people for all the jobs."

"Oh." The boy's face falls, as he turns to leave.

"Expect one." The boy's face jumps, spinning around to look at him and before the man can continue.

"I'll take it!"

"You don't even know what it is!"

"I don't care!"

The man stares him with cold, tired eyes.

"We need someone to deliver Black Hat's mail."

The colour drains from the boy's face, but he still stands there.

"That doesn't sound too bad mister."

"Alone? Nah, that's easy. but the problem is you can't just leave the mail in the mailbox, he doesn't have one."

"So?"

"He's personally asked for it to be _hand delivered_."

Now the boy shudders, having heard and seen many pictures of this man. Or creature. He never wants to see him.

"See? Go run along kid."

The boy remains silent, but also still stands there in the doorway.

…

"Kid?"

"I'll take it."

The man stares at him, his eyebrows arched.

"What?"

"I said I'll take it! I'll deliver Black Hat's mail!"

"Well, I'll be." The grumpy man rolls his eyes,

"Well, Mike you better take him out, now then."

"You mean I'm hired!?" The boy jumps up, his old brown hat falling off as he lands roughly on his scabby knees.

"Yhep, get going."

No one has ever looked happier to the fact they have just agreed to meet Black Hat.


	2. First (and only) Job

"Okay, kiddo, just go up to the door, drop the stuff, knock _once_ , and get back here as fast as you can."

"But I thought-"

"It doesn't matter what you thought, what matters is that THAT MONSTER DOESN'T"  
The man slaps his hand over his lips, his calloused skin scratching at his soft lips as he forces his own words to a halt.

"What matters," He starts again letting his hand fall back down and taking a deep breath,  
"Is that Lord, Black, Hat, doesn't get mad."

"But… won't he get mad if we don't do what he said?"

"Kid. Get out of the car. Run up to the. Place the shit down. Knock. Run back. Get in the car."

The young boy hesitated, before nodding his head at the adult' His eyes glancing down at what the man, Mike, held in his arms.  
Yellowed envelopes with crisp, hard corners; His eyes trace the red seal on one of them, it was a crescent, with a crown and stars.

"Hey! Kid! Get going!"

They boy jumps in the car seat, his arms crabbing and crumbling the papers against his chest. There was one more oddity, that he didn't need to stop to see.  
It was some kind of metal disk, with a glass line through the middle of it. He pushes it into the other mail, and kicks open the car door, hopping out.

His ankles his the ground with a soft thud, and pain shoots through his ankles for a moment, before fading away just as quickly.

"Kid wait!"

The boy looks over his shoulder, as the man now holding a rolled up newspaper. He lightly tosses it, which thuds against the boy's face, before rolling into his arms.

"We deliver his newspaper too."

Towering over the boy as he got his bearing was the fence. Crooked black spears stabbing the heavens, metal bars wrapping around them is all that holds it together

And the gate that looms over the boy also consists of these black spears, bent in elegant shapes, two circles, one on each door, and inside these circle are a couple of letters. The sides are sharp, much sharper then letters usually are.

Squinting at these shapes, his eyes narrow into into slits as his lips moved with slow pronounce movements.

Gulping down his saliva, the boy takes a small a step closer to the gate, closer to the huge manor. He shuffles the papers over into his left arm, so that his right one was free. His palm outstretched towards the gate, his skin touching the metal.

For a moment there was nothing.  
And then palm burns. All the warmth fleeing from his flesh, killing the feeling in his hand, going numb within seconds.

The boy whips his hand away from the gate. Pressing his frigid palm to his mouth, letting his hot breath curl around it. The boy stands there for a minute, turning his hand over front and back to get feeling back into his small hand.

Once the boy could feel it again, the numbness not fully gone but, much less noticeable the boy tries again. This time he turns to his right, with both his hands clutching the papers against his chest.

Now he leans with all his force into the black unforgiving gate.

And again, cold burns into his shoulder, shooting through his veins up his neck and down his arm. The tip of his ear brushing against the metal, and going numb immediately.

But the gate creaks open, letting it's cold freezing grasp fall away from the small boy. Now the path up looms before him.

Shivers stream down the boys spine as his eyes take in the stone steps before him. Nevertheless, he steps onto them, the stone giving and crumbling under his feet, and the cracks snagging his shoes, tearing them apart further. The path lunges to the right, and then dashes over to the left.

The step gives away completely, his foot falling forward land landing on it's side. His weight falls onto his foot, sending him forward into the stairs. His mouth hitting the rocks, and a metallic taste fills his mouth. His ankle throbbing as he pushes himself up, placing his rear on the steps and look over his foot.

His shoe dangling off his foot, a few rags is all that keeps it from abandoning him. Grumbling The boy reaches forward, ripping the wrecked garment off his foot. As the pain intensifies in his ankle making the boy gasp weakly. His face suddenly flush, he throws the cloth mess down the hill, it crushes the dried grass with a thumb, and continues to roll down the hill for a few moments.

With a loud groan, the boy looks up. His eyes falling upon the the black doors, so high above him. He closes his eyes, reaching a hand up to pull his hat snug. A a tear cries out from the cloth and he sighs. He is going to need more safety pins.

Kneeling down, pain shooting through his ankle as he presses his foot against he cold ground, he grabs the envelopes. Brushing off the bits of dirt that had drifted onto them. Taking the bent papers he presses them against his knee, firmly running his hand against them, bending them, but the crumbles were less noticeable now.  
Looking down he scans the ground, running his eyes over the edge of the steps, and down any cracks. Making sure he had everything. After ensuring he couldn't find anymore things on the ground he runs his eyes over what was held in his arms.

Old paper envelopes? Check.  
Weird disk thingy? Check.  
Newspaper? Check.

Gulping down his saliva, and breathing out his fear, the boy takes another step up the stairs. Immediately a burn erupts from his right knee. He darts his eyes down, leaning forward, stressing the fire further. His chin brushing the papers he held, to see a line of red trickling down his knee.

With a roll of his eyes, the boy presses on, feeling the cracked rockks diiging into his bare foot, and a stream of warmth rolling down his leg.  
The boy's hat bobs up and down with each step, having lost any grip it ever had, threatening to abandon the boy too.

Now, a dark shadows presses upon the boy, prompting him to look up. The huge Black Hat towers above him, obscuring all light from him. He found himself needing to quint his eyes in order to make it up the last few steps and find the door.

And he stares at it. Frozen in place as he looks upon the carved black wood.

Mike's words echoes in his head.

"Just leave the stuff on the step, knock on the door, and run."

But also.

"The most important thing is to not make him mad."

He wants his letters hand delivered right?

His teeth smash together, clattering furiously, and chomping on his tongue as they went off. He knows what he has to do. They boy knows what he is going to do.  
His hand shakes uncontrollably as he reaches for the door, first pressing his palm against the wood. Feeling the ridges that he could not see under his palm, and he takes a breath.

Pulling his hand back, he curls his fingers in, bringing the ball down on the door hard. He removes his hand, again slamming it agaisnt the door. But his fist hits nothing, falling far beyond where he expected.

So he opens his eyes.

He does not see a door

But a monster

Black Hat himself meets the boys gaze, his eyes furrowing at the grungy pest before him


	3. Delivery

( AN. I JUST WANT TO SAY THANK YOU, EVERYONE. Seeing the comments on this! It really keeps me going and gives motivation. All of the views it's gotten as well. Just thank you so much!)

Late. Late. Late late late.

THE MAIL IS ALWAYS LATE.

This, this is unacceptable. They know who he is. WHAT he is. And yet, they still think they can keep him waiting like this? How DARE they. Who do they think they are. WHAT do they think they are. This is unacceptable.

Black Hat paces back and forth before the door. The very room trembling as his growl. Pit pat to thwick thwack, his footsteps go, storming onto a soft rug, and then off upon hard floor. He spins around, but his neck remains stiff, his eyes always glaring at the door,

This is not tolerable. They should know that. It is unacceptable to keep him waiting. He has to tell them this... Yes, yes that's it. Black Hat will make them respect his time. Ohoh, they are never going to cross him like this again.

A snarl turns into a grin. A black back straightens. And the demon marches straight for the door. His right hand unfolding from his back, retrieving his cane from his shadow.

However, as Black Hat goes to open his doors... He senses something

A pest is making it's way up...

The pest he was waiting for.

Late... But it is here.

Without laying his eyes on it, he knew was it was. A young human. Hmph. They are sending children now to do this job. How insulting.

But as insulting as it was, children are so much fun. Grinning again. Oh yes, he will have some fun indeed.

As the brat drops his mail at the door, and bolts off, he lets his form twist, his jaw melting open as he jumps through the door and...

and hears a knock upon his door. The opening door revealing sees the boy standing there holding the papers... his mail?

The boy's eyes are shut, unable to see him looming over. This time he uses to put himself back into a... presentable form... For now.

The brat's eyes flicker open, a momentary confusion whisked away by pure terror as he saw him in all his glory.

He looks down at the pest, a solid frown on his lips, and a slightly narrowed eye and the tardy insect.

The boy's arms trembles as they straighten, moving the papers away from his chest and closer to the eldritch. Who sneers at the offering, his face wrinkling.

"Late." was the only response he gave to the brat.

That's what he was after all. Late.

Whirling around, leaving the boy to gape in terror at noting as he walks away.

"In."

The does not listen to him. Not until he looks over his shoulder to glare at him, his eye turning black.

"Now."

The brat obeys now. With a jump of its shoulder, it scrambles in through the door.

"TWAMP"

The doors slam on the pests heels, causing the papers to leave his grip and drift to the floor. Black Hat whirls around to face him, taking a large step forward as his eye flickers black and red yet again.

"Pick those up, NOW!" the brat jumps back, hitting his back against the wall, trying to push through it as if he could merely walk through it.

The pests eyes were firmly locked onto Black Hat's form, refusing to look away for even a moment. The tears of terror beautifully glistening in the corner of his eyes. It's hard not to laugh at this child.

He continues to glare. Not letting the boy have a moment of respite until with shaking knees they fall to the ground. He manages to finally tear his eyes away from the monstrosity, and look at the papers he foolishly dropped, hurriedly pulling them into a rough pile which he picked up.

As the boy meddles with the papers black hat takes his gaze of, releasing him, momentarily, from the threat of impending death.

He walks away from the boy, who hurries upon noticing that black hat had started to leave. Despite the fear he invokes, the idea of being alone in his domain was a much much worse one.

Black Hat steps out of the entryway, heading under a wooden arch into an adjacent room. A large room designed for guests to wait in, Black Hat was often very busy and couldn't always attend to visitor immediately; especially when they showed up unannounced, as some lesser Villains liked to do. It was them trying to show off, have pride in themselves by inconveniencing everyone else. He doesn't do anything about it because it just gets tedious- besides if he killed every villain who was annoying like that he wouldn't have any clients!

He takes a seat in a large chair, sinking into the soft cushions as he kicks his feet up onto a low table. The same table holding a loaf of bread, fresh bread as the smell permeated the room, and his drink of a dark red liquid. He looks back to the brat, fumbling at the start of the room. Misty eyes staring at the demon.

He extends an arm out part way, his palm facing up. An irritated sigh escapes his lips as the brat silently stares. Confused.

"My mail pest." He hisses at him. He shouldn't have to make it more obvious, what next they were going to tell him to get his own mail? These people are so insulting.

The brat begins to tremble, shaky steps bringing the small morsel closer to him.

"Now!" Black Hat snaps. The brat screaming as he rushes forward to press the mail against his claws. Scurrying back afterward.

Black Hat rips a talon out of his glove, a single flick of his wrist slicing off the top of the envelopes. Retrieving the paper actually holding the message as he discards the envelope. It drifts to the floor where it erupts in green flame, leaving nothing when it's done, not even ash.

Looking at the paper his eye quickly scans the words. Boring boring boring boring boring dull boring. He crunches it in his hand, the paper meeting the same fate as the envelope. This one he watches burn away in his hand. The green flames dancing.

His eye looks down at the newspaper... That would surely be more interesting... And there is a pest just standing there idly, useless... He whirls the roll of paper at the boy, hitting him square in the face and sending the pest stumbling back. The boy looks back at him, pleasing him with a nice large red spot over his face. A laugh escaping his evil lips at the boy gazes at him, fear in his eyes.

"Read it Pest." His tone warps without warning, growling at the pest.

The ape's blank eyes stared at him, not a single intelligent thought running through his head. Slowly it looks down seeing the newspaper her threw at him. Just now realizing what was going on. The brat drops to his knees to pick it up and unfurl the paper. Black Hat returning his attention to the letters he had been sent.

There was silence...

What does that stupid ape think it's doing. He gave a VERY clear order.

"B-b-break..."

...What?

"Breaking.. n-neeews..."

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

Jumping the boy rips the middle of the newspaper. The pests eyes looking up with tears to meet Black Hat's

"R-r-readi-"

"Stupid APE! You aren't READING!"

Black Hat stands up, snarling as he towers over the brat. The pest tries to hold the paper up in front of its face as if that weak piece of paper could shield him the demonic monstrosity before him.

"READ It! Stupid brat! I, the GREAT Black Hat, has given a worm like YOU a task. Do you understand the honour I'm given you! To do this one simple thing! You, a stupid worm are in MY presence, I have graced you with this, and to not be SCREAMING in agony. And THIS is how you choose to repay that? READ IT!"

"I-I can't..."

"WHAT?"

Tears stream down the pests cheeks. Washing away dirt and grim, the water turning black.

"I can't..."

"What!"

" I can't read!"

"What!?" Black Hat roars again. Snapping his fangs down, grazing the brats nose. Burning saliva throwing from his mouth onto the pest. But... instead of ripping the brats face off, Black Hat leans back. Laughter erupting from his lips and shaking the room.  
This pest was so afraid, he was about to foul himself. As disgusting as it was, it was ever so hilarious to watch. And he hadn't even gotten mad at this brat yet, he hadn't even given the pest a single reason to fear him.

The monster stalks a circle around the boy. His feet making not a sound as he walks, everything the little morsel trembling before him.

"Why are you here?"

It was a cold, blunt question. Mercifully, devoid of anger.

" to deliver-"

"Why are you here?" Annoyance grew in his voice, being forced to repeat the same question to the stupid worm.

"To-"

How stupid. Stupid pathetic gross! Ugh!

"Why are you here?!" his patience breaks, snapping at him once last time, the empathizes makes his meaning clear.

"N-no one else w-w-would come sir- lordblackhat"

The worms voice cracks as Black Hat jumps him again. Giving the pest a close look at his viscous sharp fangs.

Fun.

Yes. Yes, this was fun. Black Hat grins. As infuriating as it was for his mail to be delayed, he could tolerate such a thing as long as they kept entertaining him like this. Yes perhaps, perhaps, none of their guts will stain the ground as long as they keep his interest...

His eye now flickers to look out the window. Spotting a mail van. No doubt the one that carried this pest here. and undoubtedly harboring another pest... An evil thing like him couldn't just end his game without tormenting that one as well now, could he?

But before that game begins...

The all-powerful eldrich drops his interest with the worm. Retaking his seat in his chair, and going over his letters again.  
However, a familiar growl catches his attention. His eye shoots up, and land on the brat. Two grimy hands pressed against his flat stomach. A crying stomach. It is a beautiful bell to his ears...

"Guuuuurgle"

A distracting bell. He needs to get this work done now, not later. Does he really have to solve this stupid thing's problem? Ugh.

"Stop being a distraction!" He snaps. The brats hands shooting down to his sides as he turns to look at the all-powerful demon in front of him.

The brat opens its mouth to protest. The words he was going to say obvious, but black hat cuts him off and points to the bread. He doesn't usually feed worms. But when he needs them for something, and they are being a distraction otherwise, he can make exceptions.

The pest refuses for a moment, pondering the command. However as his stomach grumbles again, and Black Hat's eye narrows, he hurriedly dashes forwards. His hand tearing into the bread and taking a chunk for himself, shoving it into his dirty little mouth.

Crumbs fell down its chin as his teeth sank into the offered food. Ripping it to shreds. Now if it was someone's heart that would have been a pleasant sight. As it is... It showed him once again how disgusting these apes were. Why does he even tolerate such vile things?

However, the pest is relatively silent now. Fading away to once again be a part of the background. Making it easier for Black Hat to his work. The letters that had been sent to him. Some were merely old-fashioned Villains sending in their orders.

Others were... ugh disgusting. Those found themselves tossed to the ground and going up in flames.

Only a few of these were actually interesting. And such only a small few of them actually got his precious time to receive a response. How lucky for them.

When he had finished the last touches on the final letter, Black Hat again looks at the pest. It had just finished the last of the offered bread. Ugh, no manners.

Black Hat gets up, grabbing the brat's collar and yanking him to his feet. A yelp of surprise leaving the boys lips as pain cuts of his breath. With a grunt, he pushes the few letters into the boy's arms and shoves him towards the door.

Black Hat turns, about to leave when... oh dear. He nearly forgot! The boy froze in terror when he spins back around, grinning. He stares the brat down, his eye not leaving the pests shivering form once as he picks up his glass. His pinky finger out.

The worm hadn't moment to respond before red covered the dirty shirt he wore. Running down the front and staining it. Black Hat empties out that last few drops of his drink on the boys head, watching the red down his face.

"Well?" Black Hat speaks, giving the brat even more of his time and energy.

"Get. Going." The doors outside swing open. The boys eyes dart to it, then slowly falling back to the demon, and a grin flashes on his face before he spins around and run out the dooryard shrill young voice screaming as hard as he could... well without actual reason, black hat is certain he could make the pest scream much much louder... but it was still an enjoyable tune.


End file.
